Loving It: My Dad Wrote a Porno

First up, for anyone who isn’t familiar with the podcast I’m talking about, please let me clarify: my Dad didn’t write a porno. Thankfully.

The closest he’s ever come to porn (to my knowledge, at least) was the time that he was showing me pictures of a panda on his phone and scrolled too far.

“…Is that…? What… what’s… what’s up with that?!” I screeched in horror.

“I don’t know,” he said, looking perplexed. “I guess maybe I had my finger in front of the lens?”

I was aghast. “That is NOT a FINGER!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Because he was genuinely confused as to why this stray penis was on his phone, I was secure in the knowledge that it must not have been his. By looking at the time stamp, he realized that it was taken during his annual hunting trip and figured that one of his buddies must done it when he left his phone unattended–and we had our suspicions as to exactly which friend was most likely to do such a thing.

And we were right! The friend later admitted having done it, but I’ll keep his name out of this to protect his privacy (even though he seems pretty unconcerned about keeping his bits private). Plus I feel pretty bad that my Dad mistook this guy’s junk for a finger.

Anyway, so my Dad and I were pretty much dick pic forensic investigators. We’ve since hung up our penis investigation hats, but it’s still a really proud moment in our family’s history.

So if not mine, whose Dad did write a porno? Jamie Morton, who teams up with two of his friends to read–and mock–his Dad’s erotic novel on their hilarious podcast, My Dad Wrote a Porno.

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Image from the My Dad Wrote a Porno website

My best friend told me about this podcast months ago, but I didn’t get around to listening to it until a little over a week ago. (It’s not available on Google Play, so my own laziness about downloading another app was a big part of the delay.) I listened to it while I cleaned my apartment, and at points I was literally weak with laughter. If my neighbours can hear any of this… I don’t even want to know what they think.

Less than two weeks in, I’m already almost finished season 2. I have a problem. But I think I might finally be getting abs from all the laughter. Also I can’t stand to look at pomegranates anymore.

The appeal here is really the bad writing combined with their hilarious commentary. I want to be really, really clear that there is no sexual appeal to this podcast whatsoever. I’ve never once been even remotely turned on listening to this. There are times while listening that I feel like I might never want to have sex again.

I don’t want to say too much about the book itself because I feel like a lot of the fun is being just as surprised (and horrified) by it as the hosts. (I’m even worried that I’ve ruined the whole pomegranate bit, but that’s really early on in Season 1, so there’s a ton more cringe that I haven’t spoiled.)

In case you’re interested, you can purchase an ebook copy of the novel they’re reading–Belinda Blinked–on Amazon. They have also released a book of their own that has the text of the first novel (yes, it’s a series) along with their notes and additional content like the rules to their drinking game.

I know I’m extremely late to the party on this one, but on the off chance that you aren’t already a fan, give it a shot and then report back. Also, if you have any podcast recommendations, send them my way!

  1. […] it or not). Then I heard Rachel Bloom (the show’s star, writer, and creator) on an episode of my other recent obsession,¬†discovered the show is actually a musical, and knew immediately that I needed to binge every […]

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